The Blog I almost never Update

China Baby

2012-01-06T07:47:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I have not updated my blog for so long...

Short form of the in between months.

Chris came home from Iraq, we prepared to move and get out of the military, I went to an ashram to become a yoga instructor, we traveled from Georgia to Virginia to New York to Canada (just Niagara Falls) to Chicago, Mt Rushmore, Utah, Idaho and Washington.

Then we found out that no one was hiring anywhere... So Chris got back in the army and moved to Missouri.

My dad and I followed shortly so I wouldn't have to drive alone. He and I went to Utah (I love my Utah friends), the Grand Canyon (amazing.......), a LOOOOOOOONG drive through the Navajo Nation Reservation, we saw some great sights (like real dinosaur tracks and Window Rock), it was a great trip.

Now we are in Missouri for a little while, Fort Leonard Wood, which is where I did my basic training. AND the biggest news of all...

We are adopting from China! We have done a lot of paperwork, and started our homestudy. We are about 2/3 of the way done with this stage of it. Now we have to identify a child, do some more paperwork and wait for travel approval. After years of waiting for the right time, it's finally NOW!

And I'm not done yet...

My mom and I are traveling to Zambia, Africa this summer with Mother's Without Borders. Africa has been on my heart for years now and I'm so thrilled to be able to finally do something. I also hope it's just the beginning for me. I want to really do something meaningful for Africa. I'm in contact with people who have done great things and I hope to brainstorm or be inspired with something I can do long term that doesn't cost $5000 a pop.

Any ideas? Inspire me!

April Goal: Dance from Within

2011-04-14T06:39:00.000-07:00

Many apologies for this being late, but the real problem was that I could not think of a great goal this month. My only excuse I have is at the end of March we were prepping for the return of my husband from Iraq and we've spend the last couple weeks spending time together and getting us all to fit right again as a family.

I have been listening to the WISH summit calls for the last few weeks and I am loving them. I just listened to the one by Jennifer Jimenez (her website here). Her website is very cool, she teaches dance movement therapy and how to dance in a way that reconnects with your body. It's really healing and when I do it I cry.

So my goal is to stick with it and dance every day through the end of the month and if I still love it, to continue every day. All it takes is 5 minutes and one great song.

Comment to me about your favorite music to dance to. I don't want to hear icky songs, just awesome emotion filled, inspiring songs.

March Mish-Mash

2011-03-10T11:22:00.000-08:00

My February goals went really well. I played guitar every day until I popped the bottom E string. I am going to keep playing every day once I get it fixed because I just love it so much.

I had a great party, and did a lot of fun things with my friends.

I just had a great month. I did a lot of crafting and found out that being a part of creating is a HUGE deal for me. I need to be crafting, sewing, playing instruments etc.

I am late in blogging this month because my parents came to visit and I had the greatest time with them too. We went to St. Simon's island, the Jacksonville Zoo, Lady and Son's restaurant, River Street, a Maritime Museum, hiking... All kinds of fun things.

This month marks 6 months of trying new things and instead of making a new goal... especially since the month is half over... I am going to read over my other months and implement the best parts and just reflect over the work I have done. I can already think of some things I need to work on again.

Sorry to be so boring this month :)

My Favorite things Party: How it all went down

2011-03-08T07:03:00.000-08:00

First off, I must say that this party was an amazing success, we all had a great time. I am going to host this party in every new place I live because it was just too fun. We spent about 4 hours talking, eating, playing games and just having fun. (We did not eat for 4 hours straight, I just read that and that's how it sounded!)

I made this chandelier from a tutorial I found here. It took only part of an evening. I only had one cross stitch ring so I made the other rings out of bent hangers and a little hot glue to hold the fabric in place. Totally worth it. I love it, it's still hanging.

I found these images in magazines and mod podged them onto boards I already had. It was super simple, and I stuck them around the table for added color and just because they are so cool.

As guests arrived at the party I passed out these and they wrote down answers to the following questions:

What is your favorite...

Movie
Season
Holiday
Book (or genre)
Hobby

Then I read the cards and everyone had to guess who wrote it. We were surprised how many people put down a Jane Austen book! This was a really good break the ice game because not everyone knew everyone else. It sparked some fun conversation.

After that I passed out these to each person and told them not to eat the candy just yet. I bought the condiment cups at Walmart 88 cents for 4 of them. I filled them with M&Ms, glued some pretty hearts in the theme colors to the front of them and wrapped them in a bow. Super simple. And here is the game:

If you have...

3 or more red ones: Tell everyone your favorite color
3 or more blue ones: Share you favorite TV shows
3 or more green ones: Talk about your favorite stores
3 or more brown: Share your favorite family activity

We found that we all wanted to share our favorites of most things regardless of if we had the right colors.

After this we played the last game. I wish I had thought to take pictures of the game and my guests, I don't know what I was thinking. I was having so much fun that I just didn't think about it! The last game was a Favorite Things gift swap. I asked everyone to come attend and bring a favorite thing they can't live without that was $10 or less. We also did the same swap for the kids, but I'm just going to share about the adult one.

Everyone brought their gift and put it in the middle of the floor and we drew numbers. The person with #1 picked the first gift, opened it up and the person who brought it spoke about why they picked it, and they also told us about the favorite food they brought for everyone.

I didn't write down everything that we all brought but the ones I remember are:

Haribo Candy Raspberries. If you haven't tried them, do it.
Haiku perfume
Whitman Sampler
John Freida Frizz-Ease serum (crack for hair)
Home made Febreeze knock off (1 tsp fabric softener with water in a spray bottle)
Bath and body works candles, they were amazing
CD of classic music (Think Elvis era)
There were products like body wash, deodorant etc, but I can't remember the brands...

This is only about half of it, I can't remember the rest...

When people left I gave them these, they were filled with Hershey's kisses, hugs and almond ones. I bought these containers at a craft store, wrapped a 1 inch wide section of scrapbook paper and tied a ribbon around it.

My Favorite things Party in Pictures

2011-03-08T06:50:00.000-08:00

This was how I had the table done at first. I did this on Wednesday and the party was on Saturday, I spent the rest of the days making things to add to the table, and I wish I could show you all but...

I am so mad at myself that I didn't take a picture of the table once I had it completely arranged, it was so pretty! I'll learn from my mistake and photograph the entirety of the rest of my parties!

This was the yellow cake I made on Friday starting at 6pm, it was done by midnight so that wasn't too bad for me :) I did this because the lemon bars I tried to make flopped because you cannot use egg replacer to make them vegan. The result is horrid, so I decided to do this instead!

I went to a craft store and bought these pretty flowers for the Young Women at church so they could have some updated fake flowers, and they were the perfect colors so I hung onto them for a week so I could use them. I never thought I would like fake flowers, but these ones are pretty.

I loved the way my silverware looked in this old gravy boat that belonged to my great grandma, and the flour sifter. Kind of a vintage feel. For the silverware I wrapped a fork and knife inside a napkin, stuck the spoon on the outside and wrapped it in scrapbooking paper about an inch wide by 3 or 4 inches long.

These are so pretty, I love them! I dipped the cheesecake in yellow sugar to go with the color theme, then I tied ribbon on skewers and carefully poked them through cheesecake. You have to use the cheesecake bites things in the freezer section or make your own cheesecake, store bought is too flimsy and will fall apart!

You can see a tiny bit of how the table was decorated here...

My next post will have more details of the party.

Feb Goals Progress

2011-02-20T16:07:00.000-08:00

1/6th of the soap we wrapped up!

I have been doing so great on my goals this month!

I have been crafting with friends, soaping with friends, I have plans to workout with friends, and I threw a "My Favorite Things Party" this weekend with friends. I had such a great time! I will do a whole post on the party later. I am loving all this quality time with friends. It's such a big deal for happiness! I like having purposed time with them too, it's deeper than just chillin'.

I played my guitar every day until I popped a string last week. A super amazing YW at church is going to help me put on a new one! Popping a string was really scary, they fly up and hit hard, you can scratch your eye or get smacked in the face. This one hit my finger so hard that it left a welt.

Bedtime varies with the kids, but they are getting in bed earlier than normal and they are doing really well with it. I like having evenings alone :)

I haven't been making awesome food choices this month, emotional eating is at an all time high, and I have learned that even when many other areas are going so well, if I make bad choices with food I still feel bad. It over shadows things. So it's time to really focus on that and correct that so I can get the fullest and the mostest out of my friends!

February Goals revealed

2011-02-01T17:14:00.000-08:00

I can't seem to do a one part goal, but that's fine with me!

This month I am going to spend more quality time with my friends. I have a group of friends who are going to work on the amazing Advent calendar with me. As soon as the materials arrive (any day now!) we will be getting together every week and working on it. This particular project might last longer than just one month.

Another quality time AND self reliance project is soap making. My friend Susie knows how to do it and we went in on all the materials together and we are going to make several years worth of soap. I have never done it, but it's going to be a large project and the best part will be spending time with my good friend!

These are just two of my plans. I have more in the works. It hit me that I will be moving away in just a few months and I want to soak up my friends while I have them.

Another part of my goals FINALLY involves my guitar. I am ready to put down the knitting needles and pick up my guitar and start learning it. I plan to keep knitting projects in the works, but I'm not going to do it daily anymore. I am on Ravelry.com and I have a whole long queue of things I want to complete at some point. I am going to spend some time with my guitar every day.

And part three of the goal has to do with the upcoming visit from my parents. They are coming at the end of the month and I have a few things I'd like to do to get ready for it. Micro goals: plan the meals we are going to eat, put the kids on a more reliable schedule including bed times, get the house nice and clean, and plan out some fun things to do together. I am most interested in seeing how having a regular schedule affects the kids and their happiness. We have never had a strict schedule, and I wonder how it will go.

Knitting pictures, finally!

2011-01-26T15:29:00.000-08:00

I tried to upload these in the order they were made, but that didn't happen... This is backwards order!

One tip: If you are a knitter, chrochet junkie, or want to be, join Ravelry.com and look for me, my screen name is Britta2tog.

I did not make this doll! My mom did a long long time ago for my grandmother, and I got it from my cousin when my grandmother passed away. I made the hair bow she is wearing. One of the flowers is knit.

These are mushroom fairy homes. They are about 3 inches tall. They are quick and so so adorable. I made 10 of them all together, 4 for my cousin, and 6 for a fairy birthday party my friend is throwing for her little girl. I hope she likes them! I learned how to rib for this.

Carrot and pea! I patterned the carrot from the mushroom fairy caps, I just thought I would give it a try and it worked. I love this carrot! I made the pea using this pattern.

I made this owl, and another one like it with different colors with the pattern mentioned above. I have also made a hedgehog, a black knit ball, and a smiling orange. I am going to add to the collection of round animals and foods because I love them, and the kids love them. I did these by knitting the pattern flat, I haven't learned knitting in the round yet, and then I stitched them up with a yarn needle. I learned to kfb (knit the front and back of the same stitch) for this.

To make the sweater the owl is wearing, follow the pattern by casting on 36 stitches and start on step 16 of the pattern.

I practiced a few stitches by making a couple scarves, but this was my first time using stockinette stitch. I also learned to switch colors while knitting. I made 10 of these, sold 5 and gave away 2 as gifts. I'm going to make another as a gift and then I just might be done with them unless people on Etsy.com are interested in them...

Food, the pictures continue...

2011-01-21T20:17:00.000-08:00

Preparing food is a lot faster than knitting so here are more food pictures. My next post will be my knitting creations.

The guacamole is a recipe from my Cafe Gratitude cookbook, the bruschetta is my own recipe, and those flax crackers were the same ones I made this summer, they still taste as fresh as ever. Very yummy.

This came from "Vegan Baking" and it was a vegan take on a German cake of some sort. I added spinach puree to make it green, it's a little more crumbly than I care for so I would change it up a little.

Yummy Thai Mango sweet rice thing. It's sooooo good. I've never had it before and I love it. Taiten would never ever eat rice, but he ate an entire cup of it. I was in shock. It's made with coconut milk.

The omlettes looked good but tasted disgusting. Never again.

My new love, Brussel's sprouts. I have never had them before, and this was my first go at them and they were so fantastic. I dipped them in balsamic vinegar and ate the entire pound of them in one sitting. This needs to be a weekly thing... Or more often.

More food pictures!

2011-01-07T09:10:00.001-08:00

The kids eating and LOVING blueberry and spinach popsicles.

First, a little update on all of my goals. I have been knitting every day and getting better at it. I love watching projects unfold.

I have not been working out every single day because some days I am very busy, but I have been getting a workout in often. So far this week I have done Kenpo X, AbRipper X and a rebounder workout. Today I am going to do either Plyometrics or the Cardio X one.

I have been cooking every day and it's really fun. I get to learn new things, and the kids are trying lots of new foods. And our diets are expanding and becoming more balanced because of it. AND we are not getting bored with the same old stuff. Lots of benefits here!

My wrist is still sore, so I'm not doing guitar, I think I might have to take that off the list for this month and move it yet again to another month. When I do it I want to give it my all.

I have not spend insane amounts of time on any one project and I have still been arriving on time to things.

The only problem is I haven't been keeping up on having a clean house, after the holidays I had such a hard time returning to normal. I am inviting a friend who loves to clean over to help me whip it into shape and then I am keeping up on it!

Ok, enough talk, on to the pictures!

This french toast is made with chickpea flour instead of eggs. I ground up some spinach into the chickpea/almond milk. Not enough to taste it, but enough that it turned this shade of green. The kids ate every last bite.

This home made apple sauce was amazing. I just loved it! It's the best recipe I have done, all my other apple sauce was only ok. I also added about a half cup of spinach into the blender with it. The kids were grossed out by the color, which looks like baby food peas, but they did eat some. Their only gripe was that it wasn't sweet enough.

We had these for breakfast today. the entire thing you see before you was only 350 calories total. The sausage is made from wheat meat, or seitan, mixed with a lot of spices and flavorings. It is by far the best seitan recipe I have made. The salsa was made with a half of a fresh pineapple (which I have been missing dearly since we moved away from Hawaii), one small tomato, some onions which are supposed to be fresh but I used dried cannery onions and it was still really good. Cilantro and some lime. It was very satisfying. The kids ate theirs with some of the "eggs" that were left over from earlier. Taiten even tried a little bit of the pineapple salsa. They ate it all and asked for seconds.

So far this is the only recipe I didn't love. These are fried plantains. They are pretty, but they taste like potatoes. It's weird. In the book the author said she has these when she wants something sweet. They were not sweet at all! I think they would make a really good fried elephant ear though, grind it up with a little flour and fry. I have another plantain, I think I am going to try it that way.

Cooking Creations

2011-01-03T13:27:00.000-08:00

Part of my goal this month is to try out new recipes from my new cookbooks.

This picture shows two recipes. I made scrambled tofu for the first time. I was scared to do it because all the tofu I have tried has been really gross. But I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt and try it, and it was really good. My kids thought they were eating eggs, so that works for me! The other recipe was pumpkin bread. (The ketchup is also home made.)

I tripled the recipe and made 6 loaves and gave some of them away to friends. It turned out so well that people have requested the recipe.

It's hard to photograph coffee cake... I made the recipe exactly like the book said to, but I added 1/2 cup spinach puree and 3/4 c blueberries. The kids have an aversion to green food and I got fed up with it so I'm adding veggie purees to everything they eat this month so they will get used to green food. When I handed this to Kaia she stuck out her tongue and was grossed out, but once she ate a bite she loved it. You can't taste the spinach at all.

This is a mock tuna sandwich. It's made with chickpeas, hijiki (form of seaweed), onions, carrots and other ingredients. It's really very good. It's not very fishy, but has a touch of it, just enough to satisfy the craving for a tuna sandwich. I haven't had tuna in about 6 years because Chris and I weren't thrilled with the fishing practices, not to mention the mercury. Needless to say I have been missing the occasional tuna sandwich, this really hit the spot. I used Genesis 1:29 bread too, which I LOVE.

December Wrap-up and January Goal: Time Management

2011-01-01T07:03:00.000-08:00

Be Organized: I am so proud of myself, I did so great! The house got completely cleaned and de-cluttered. I was also on time 90% of the time so that's a marked improvement from the past.

It felt wonderful to live in a clean house and I am going to try to maintain it. The house hasn't recovered from after Christmas, but the first week of January I am going to get it back in shape.

January Goal: Time Management

My friends and family know that when I undertake a project the entire world disappears. I sit around working on it and ignore my kids, I forget to eat, I forget to make food for my kids, I work on it constantly, forgetting what time it is. I find myself and the kids awake at 2am, with me thinking it's about 9pm. I think about it all the time until it's finished. This isn't healthy!

I have never learned good time management skills and this month I am going to, and the perfect test is to do it while undertaking projects that I would be tempted to devote all my time to.

All of the books I got as gifts from 3 different people, everyone had the same idea for me!

Part 1: For Christmas I received a bunch of vegan and raw vegan cook books so I thought it would be a good idea to make a goal to cook a new recipe several times a week. I'm not sure how many days a week, it depends on the grocery costs, but I want to do 5 days a week if it's cost effective.

Part 2: I renewed my Bodybugg online subscription and have started tracking workouts and calories again and it's great to return to that. I am not making a typical weight loss goal. I find when I do that I stress myself out and that causes me to overeat. Instead, am making an exercising goal. I am going to do P90X workouts 3 times a week as a minimum, even if it's just the Ab Ripper video, which I'd like to do every day because it's short. I am starting with Kenpo every Monday because it's my favorite.

Part 3: Play guitar every day
My Dad bought me a guitar tutorial book for Christmas. I have wanted to learn to play for a really long time and I finally have the time, the guitar and a book to learn from. The only problem is I hurt my wrist making awesome Star Wars cupcakes for the New Year's party. I piped icing for about 4 hours and my wrist was massively sore after, and it might take a week before it's back to normal. But as soon as I feel that my wrist is fine this goal starts, and might persist into February if it takes too long. I tuned the guitar a few days ago so I'm all set to start!

Part 4: Knit every day
I bought a teach yourself knitting book last month and I have taught myself to knit and purl and I am currently working on a project with circular knitting needles. I want to continue this and be really good at it. I love being able to make things, and knitting is awesome because it doesn't require a machine, and it's small and self contained. I can take it places. It also makes warm things, and it doesn't take a lot of thinking, I can do other things while knitting. So far I made a scarf for both kids, which they lost a few days after getting them. But I honed my skills and I'm good to start!

Aside from these there are other normal activities I need to do daily, cleaning, preparing for Sundays and Wednesday youth activities, and homeschooling.

Merry Christmas 2010!

2010-12-25T09:59:00.000-08:00

These are the salt dough Nisse ornaments I made until 1am last night so Santa could bring them :) A Nisse (or Tomte) is a Norwegian elf/gnome. At Christmas time we have a Julenisse (Christmas elf).

I did them in the dehydrator, they were super easy. The dough was corn starch, water and salt, it took about 10 minutes to make, I used a recipe I found on this blog.

Then I cut out the shapes and put them in the dehydrator on it's high setting (150F) for about 4-6 hours, I can't remember. Then I just painted them with acrylic paint, nothing fancy. I used puffy paint for the beard and mustache. Then I put them back in the dehydrator for about 20 minutes and they were done.

It's a great tradition that we are going to do more often, when the kids are older they can make their own Nisses. I don't know how long they will last, so I think I'll leave one out all year to see if they last. If they do, we will make them to give as gifts to friends and share our Viking spirit with everyone!

Just a little blurb about my December goal:

The house is not perfect, but it's getting so close. I have been able to sustain the level of clean and even scrub down doors and walls. In January I am going to buy a bunch of bleach pens and magic erasers and finish the job, there are things that scrubbing alone isn't fixing, and I don't have the cash to do it now. But I am feeling great about my ability to keep the house clean and livable, and people can even drop by unannounced and I won't be embarrassed, so that's progress!

Merry Christmas to all my family and friends, I love you all so much! Thanks for your prayers and just being there while Chris is deployed.

Cleaning up a storm!

2010-12-19T14:54:00.000-08:00

Cleaning has gone to a new level. I am now scrubbing doors and walls. It feels so good though. Once it's clean the maintenance is so easy. Keeping the house clean makes a HUGE difference for happiness. I must remember this.

And today, a great WIN I had was getting to church on time, we were there 10 minutes early, the kids were fed, dressed and groomed, everything was awesome. Best Christmas present for myself EVER.

Organized and On Time

2010-12-16T08:47:00.000-08:00

Taiten and Kaia in the toy room after we cleaned it. I don't have a before picture, but picture in your mind: Toys, garbage, crumbs, ripped up books and broken items covering every square inch of the floor. It was truly gross.

My goal of being organized is going very well. Every day we get up and clean, the kids clean the toy room once or twice a day to maintain it. The kitchen has been a tiny bit behind, but nothing serious, and I clean it every day.

I haven't mopped or finished the bathrooms yet, but the rest of my house is very clean. The kids love it, and I love it so much. Going back home and spending time in my mom's house, which is always clean, reminded me of how I love being in an organized home. Women who keep their homes clean and organized always seem to be able to do it effortlessly, and that has always been a problem. But the key is to get it all sparkling clean and then doing a little maintenance every day, and throughout the day. Then it does seem effortless. And you never have to leave the house and return to a total mess.

One simple pleasure I have enjoyed is going grocery shopping and returning to a house where I can walk in the kitchen and place the bags on the clear counter tops OR the clean table. I used to walk in with 20 bags on my arms (I am one of those people) and having to put them on the ground, then clear a spot, then move the bags again before I can unpack them. It was always so irritating, and is no longer a problem!

My goal of being on time has been going well also. I was late to church on Sunday, but other than that I have been on time or early to EVERYTHING ELSE, which is not my normal!

A side product of being on time and keeping a clean home is I have more free time than before. I have been organizing my errands, something I always thought I was doing before, but as I see now, I was really not. It feels good to be prepared, and I hope I can keep this up.

The only problem so far is that I am so used to wasting time and ignoring the mess I was living in that now that I have actual time to use, I don't know what to do with it. I'm so used to wasting it. I have a list of things I can do like learn to knit, play guitar, exercise, I have a stack of books to read, but I keep hanging out under blankets and watching TV and reading books to the kids.

Ending on a positive note: I started up using my Bodybugg again and I remember why I loved it in the first place. Yesterday was the best health day I have had in a long time and I'm excited to make more progress.

Also, Taiten and I are getting caught up on homeschooling, we were a little behind this year.

November Wrap-up and December Goal: Be Organized

2010-12-09T14:29:00.000-08:00

November Wrap-up

So how did I do with my goal for November? I did really well on a lot of it. I exercised more and made way healthier choices for eating. I only lost a couple pounds, but I am continuing to make those healthy choices and I think I laid the ground work for further health.

I made and broke two dental appointments, things kept getting in the way. I intend to make another appointment after the new year.

I had a full physical and learned that I might have a thyroid thing happening, and that my cholesterol went up again, to 212, so I might have to go on medicine even though I have not been putting cholesterol in my body. I must just make too much. I have had many family members die between the ages of 40 and 60 because of heart problems so this is not something I should put off for long. If diet and exercise won't keep me heart healthy, I might have to use meds. It's hard for me to come to that conclusion, so I don't do it lightly.

I had a thyroid panel done and I'll learn more about that in a few weeks, I hope all is well there!

So, even though what I was hoping for didn't come to pass, I feel like I did a great job on my goals and I am more informed and prepared for the future.

December Goal

I am late with posting about this, but not late on starting!

My goal is to Be Organized

Those who know me, know that I am a terrible housekeeper, my house may have just one clean room, or no clean rooms. It's never disgusting, but it's NEVER clean. I can never invite someone to walk freely through the house because there is always a room or more that is really out of control messy.

I am also late for everything, or I forget I have a meeting/appointment/something I have to do. I mail everything late, I'm rushing to get things done. Then I get home and look at the mess and ignore it because I'm tired.

I believe that when you are messy on the outside, it's because you are messy on the inside. So I feel like if I can clean up EVERYTHING and start doing things on time and create a way to be more organized that I will have more time to do things I want to do, like Learn to play the Guitar, and also be cleaner and more balanced on the inside.

I also believe that my kids deserve to live in a clean and safe environment.

So for the three days that my car was in the shop I cleaned like a mad woman and I have all but the toy room, the bathrooms and my closet clean. I will continue to clean until the house is done, and I will keep it clean. I will clean every day and find joy in it. I have already found joy in having the house clean. And I mean DEEP CLEANED.

Tomorrow a friend is coming over to help me with the things that need elbow grease and I should be close to having things organized, decluttered, and cleaned.

After that I will start writing things down and planning ahead. I will not rush, because I will plan to be on time. Things are going to be great this month and I will learn so much! I'm excited!

How do YOU stay organized and clean in your life?

The Raw Meal from yesterday.

2010-11-12T11:30:00.000-08:00

Raw flax crackers I made.

Carrot, apple and cabbage salad topped with avocado and flax.

And Almond Carrot Pate!

Living (Raw) Foods

2010-11-10T09:27:00.000-08:00

I was featured on this blog if you want to check it out: Cook. Vegan. Lover.

I have been really getting into living (raw) foods this week. It is so fun to learn new ways to do things. I felt this way when I went vegan around this time last year. I love experimenting with new things.

I thought being vegan was going to be so much cheaper because we weren't buying meat, butter or milk at all, we bought way less cheese because it was mainly for the kids, but it turns out that it's not much cheaper, we didn't save anything from changing our diet, at least the way we did it. But eating raw so far has been really cheap. It has a lot to do with already having a prepared kitchen. I have an Excalibur Dehydrator, which is top of the line and amazing, I also have a Blendtec, another top of the line piece of equipment, so I am able to do a lot because I own those already. I also have a really good set of knives which makes it fun to chop things up.

I am not 100% raw right now, I am also eating about one macrobiotic meal a day. For example, for dinner last night I had millet seasoned with veggie bouillon and rosemary, with carrots, peas, lima beans and spinach. I blanched the veggies and boiled the millet. It feels so good to fill my belly with whole grains.

I'm finding that eating mostly raw for most of the day is really amazing. I just feel so good when I eat this way. I feel happier, I feel more whole, and I feel like I am getting really good nutrition.

Right now I'm having a lot of green smoothies and salads. Today I am going to make some raw flax crackers in the dehydrator. They take a day to dry out which is insane, but after a few days like this, you really can tell the difference in your body when you eat something living than something that isn't.

And here's the weird part. I am not losing any weight at all. I haven't counted calories every day that I started doing this, but the last three days were 900 calories (because I was sewing so many hours and when I do a project I just forget to eat!) The next day was about 1500, I had company for dinner and was trying out a Thanksgiving recipe that totally rocked, and then the next day was about 1400 calories. I have been running for almost an hour most days this week. So I'm not really sure what's going on, I hope it's just an adjustment period. I am getting the best nutrition of my life right now so maybe my system is just in shock and hoarding it or something :)

I have been successful at eating my last meal around 6 or 7 and then waiting 3 hours before I go to bed as a minimum. So I go to bed feeling light, instead of stuffed from snacking all evening, and I wake up empty, which feels really good. I am starting to learn to enjoy the feeling of hunger and look forward to the new things I am eating.

How I am feeling: Hopeful that I will begin to lose weight, but I am enjoying how I feel right now. I feel good about myself, which is extremely rare for me. So I think I am going to keep up with this raw food eating for a while!

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T13:24:00.001-07:00

These are the kid's pumpkins. Kaia's is a ghost coming home from work carrying a briefcase. (No, it's not Patrick from Spongebob!) And Taiten's is the Death Star.

They wore their SWCV costumes from August, Kaia was Queen Amidala and Taiten was a Clone Trooper.

Now, to my goals! I started the week by running for 2 hours and eating really really well. Then the next day I woke up with a massive headache and we layed around the entire day. I drank almost two gallons of water and by Wednesday I was feeling fine again. We were busy all day Wednesday, out of town busy so no exercising happened, but I packed healthy food in our bento boxes so that was a win! Thursday I had to clean the house, it was wrecked from Tuesday when I was sick and the kids tore the house apart, and then I hung out with my friend Amy who made some amazing veggie soup!

Friday was an accomplishment. I swam 44 laps, 30 continuous, which is the 1500 meters, that was a massive goal I had set for myself and I did it! Now I need to keep it up! It was also more laps that I've done before.

Saturday I woke up, got ready for the gym and on the way out the door I got a text from Annie (aka super high speed swimmer chick) that said that there was no child care so I didn't get to swim. I was majorly bummed out. But it soon got better because it was RALLY DAY. I watched the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear and sanity was totally restored. I loved it and felt way better afterward.

All in all I had a really good week, busier than I would like, but it was good. My weight stayed the same. I ate really well, but I didn't get to the gym like I wanted to. I exercised at home when I could, but I need to do more this coming week.

I have two weeks left of this goal because I extended it and I plan to make great use of this time!

Update on my progress

2010-10-24T18:33:00.000-07:00

We are all back to health, rash gone, colds gone for the most part and I have been swimming, and eating my packed meals and all around doing a good job. This was my first week with my whole grains/whole foods meals and I had a day and a half that was rocky, but other than that I have done really well.

I dropped all the steroid weight and now I'm working on the rest of the weight that doesn't belong!

Last week I swam 42 laps, with 25 of them continuous, which is more than I have done before. I'm getting better and it's so awesome! I need to work up to 30 continuous for another goal that I am not naming quite yet until I am sure about it.

I got my cholesterol checked and I am waiting on the results. Now all that's left is to schedule a dentist appointment.

So I am able to check a few things off my goal list for the month.

The biggest trial for me is weight loss. It's so difficult for me. It comes in spurts most of the time. I will feel wonderful, in the moment, in the inspiration and the motivation will just be there. I will be healthy and weight loss will just happen quickly and easily. And THEN, something throws me off and I plateau for 6 months, a year, and nothing will happen. It's so hard and it happens like that for me every time. It's been 8 months so far, I'm waiting for the "moment" to come back.

Send me your prayers please, I need help and guidance!

I think I finally learned something...

2010-10-19T10:54:00.000-07:00

The picture has very little to do with this blog, I just wanted to show off the Smiley Apple Sunshine we made, it was Taiten's idea and they really enjoyed eating it!

Big shout out to Tiffany Morgan, who helped me finally learn something and apply it to my life. About a year ago Tiffany decided to start competing in National Bikini Competitions. (BTW Tiffany, if you are reading this, I am so sorry if I get this all wrong, I've never known anyone who did this before so I'm a little lost!) If you click on her name you will go to the Bombshell Fitness site, her picture is on the right hand side about a third of the way down the page as you scroll, she's wearing orange!

So she had to learn all about health, fitness, eating right, exercising, weight lifting etc. She admits that she started not really knowing a ton and since then has learned so much. She blessed me by writing in her own words about her experience and her blog came to my eyes at a time when I was just coming off a terrible week and was really frustrated.

Last week I gained weight on the steroids, the doctor said that was a common side effect, and it was just a lot and I felt horrible. I read Tiffany's blog and then wrote to her for encouragement and between those two things I decided to try to do things differently. She mentioned that she packs 49 meals each week for nutrition and to make things easier and I decided to do that.

Yesterday I pulled out all my grains. I made my own "instant" oatmeal packets. I also have quinoa, rice, millet, cous cous and bulgur wheat. I boiled up a bunch of them in separate batches and divided them into baggies. I put a different assortment of veggies and/or beans in each baggie and put them in the freezer. I have about 50 meals together now. So now when I feel hungry I pull out a bag, cook it and season it to my liking and enjoy it. It's so good to be eating these easy meals that are truly WHOLE foods. I have enough meals for the week and I expect to learn a lot through trial and error and my meals will be better in the future, but for now they are great and I'm feeling really good. And the cost is only about $30 for the whole week for myself. I have each baggie calorie counted and each day ends up just shy of 1300 calories, and it really is a lot of food so there is no need for hunger.

I lost just over half the weight I put on last week in just one day so I am back on track and so grateful for the inspiration I got from Tiff!

Here is my recipe for the oatmeal I made. I have never liked instant oatmeal, the flavor was all weird, a sickly sweet/salty mix that was just gross. So I like this better. I had a ton of oats so it's a big recipe.

6 c oats and
1.5 cups oats separated
1/3 c cashews
4T Sucanat

Put 1.5 c oats, nuts and sucanat (or other granulated sweetener) in the blender and blend into powder, then add this to 6 cups of oats, mix well and divide into 1/2 c servings.

170 calories per 1/2 cup and it makes 15 servings.

I found it's not sweet enough. I add another 1.5 tsp sucanat when I cook it and I also add some cinnamon and cloves for flavor. This brings up the calories to around 190-195 per serving.

You can make different flavors by adding dried fruits and different seasonings.

Rodeo Family Restaurant

2010-10-18T11:16:00.000-07:00

Last week Amber and I took the kids out to eat and afterward they had a lot of fun playing in her truck.

I declare a Do-Over

2010-10-15T12:17:00.000-07:00

So I guess what I was supposed to learn about this month was flexibility, not giving up, and being gentle to myself.

So many things derailed my plan for the month and here is what I am going to do about it. I am starting with today as Day one and I'm going until the middle of November to complete my goal for the month. On November 18th I go home to visit my family for the remainder of November I will just be enjoying my family and having fun at home. It works better this way anyway, I'll focus on health and wellness up until the day I leave and have a super healthy start to my visit there.

My rash is gone so I can get back to swimming, I got my new Speedo swimsuit so I'll be equipped with items that WON'T give me a rash so I can keep it up. I also am far more aware of the things that try and screw me up so I can be twice as watchful for them. I'm glad I had a "warm up" couple of weeks so I could get back at it and just have more knowledge going in.

I have been able to be kind to myself throughout my mistakes and that is huge, I have never done that. I'll have a bad day, berate myself and feel terrible, then wake up and have a worse day because of how I was feeling the day before. I'm not doing that anymore.

In fact, today I was thinking that, Wouldn't if be nice if your whole existence didn't have to be about losing weight and returning to your goal weight? Why do I stress out over it so much? I mean, I know why, and it's not fun. Being healthy and of a healthy weight is really important, but I wish I didn't feel so consumed by the need to be the size I want to be. And my goals aren't insane either, I just always feel dissatisfied with how I am. It's not fun to be this way. It was nice to think about that and I'm going to just continue to be kinder to myself and see this as a lifestyle that will get me where I need to be in my own time, it's not a race.

------------------------------

As a special treat for my kids we went camping yesterday and last night. I invited two other friends and their kids so there was a lot going on. Everyone had such a great time though, so for all the work, it was so worth it. We did a quick one night trip and came home today around noon. I am so glad I did that. I want to do one more trip in early November and call it good. I hope I can make that happen. The only thing that would stand in my way would be if the weather gets too cold too fast, which it usually doesn't do here in Georgia.

Pictures to follow!

SCREEEAAAAAMMM!

2010-10-11T15:39:00.000-07:00

This rash I have in INFURIATING! I haven't been in the pool since Friday and it's not getting better and in fact it's getting worse. It's spreading and nothing is making it better. So, I'm biting the bullet and going to the ER later today. Not looking forward to that one bit, but I am past the point of caring and I need to get better so I can get back to swimming. I don't like being stuck and feeling so icky.

Positivity:

My juice cleanse is going well and I'm feeling so much cleaner on the inside. I feel lighter and better. When I do these cleanses it always gives me renewed strength to make good choices and treat myself kindly.

Juice Cleansing and Workout problems

2010-10-09T17:08:00.000-07:00

Those of you who have followed my blog in the past, either this one or my health one know that I do juice cleanses from time to time. In light of my recent cravings I decided to start another cleanse to rid my body of many toxins and start with a clean slate. I started tonight! It's a three day process, I don't know if I'll do the third day because I can get quite irritable that last day and I am the only parent in the house right now.

On Friday I did an amazing job swimming. I did 1000 meters without stopping, I did 2000 meters altogether. My skin has been irritated since around Wednesday and after swimming on Friday I broke out in a rash really bad. It's insanely itchy and I haven't been able to fix it. I wonder if this is a normal swimmer's problem, or if I have a chlorine allergy or what. I am not going to swim again until the rash goes away, but I don't want to have to give up swimming, I am getting so good and I love it. I wish I knew what to do!

In the mean time I am going to run and do weights and stuff, but I know I am going to lose a lot of my swimming ability. It's sad. I need a long term solution. I'm bummed!

I'm wondering what I am supposed to be learning from this month. Very little is going as planned!

Hippie Dippiness and my Kidneys

2010-10-07T10:15:00.001-07:00

Hippie Dippy is a compliment in my book :)

After prayer and much introspection I have finally figured out what is so hard about eating right in this moment. I have been eating vegan for a year with very few slip ups and all of a sudden this month feels almost impossible to make good choices. My specific problem is cheese. It wasn't hard to give up, and after a year, why is this coming back to me?

Here is what I feel the answer is. Three years ago I went through a really trying time and it affected my kidneys. You store energy and emotions in organs and for some reason my kidneys were the organs I decided should be a dumping ground because I wasn't dealing with it well. Every time I got zoned (zoning aka reflexology of the foot) my kidney's were a problem, they were sore, and they felt full of junk. It's really hard to explain.

Over time I found out that my kidneys were actually storing fat, which has long been a defense mechanism for me. I never felt worthy of being pretty, I wasn't the right kind of person or something, so I gained weight. This started when I was a child and is a pattern that continues today. I'm more in control of it, but it's still an issue. It makes sense that my kidneys would store fat as a way to deal with the added stress of the emotions I was putting there.

In September I did the Dr. Christopher's Kidney formula (hodge podge of herbs) to help cleanse my kidneys and try and return them to a healthier state. I did the cleanse for almost a month and just finished up last week-- which is when the cheese cravings started. Cheese is largely fat.

So this just goes to show that you can fix the physical problem, but when the emotional problem hasn't been fixed, you self sabotage or in some way or another you can easily return to the physical problem again. My kidneys want their cushion of fat back so I'm wanting cheese, and often.

I am so grateful that I have some understanding because now I can combat it. It's so much easier for me to resist a craving when I know the reasons behind them.

On the positive side, I stepped on the scale today and it read 153. This is largely due to the fact that Heavenly Father loves me, and has little to do with me being healthy enough to deserve that! I am going to be more caring of myself today in gratitude for this blessing.

Confession Time

2010-10-04T18:04:00.000-07:00

This is harder than I thought it would be.

Since I decided to pursue health this month I have been having horrible cravings for foods I never think about normally. I have also woken up a couple days just feeling bad so that threw off my day a couple times already.

I have not been eating as well as I should, I have eaten too much a few days already and the month just started.

I have only had one good day so far with this plan.

But I am not going to give up! Instead I am going to pray for help, I am going to read more scriptures and try again tomorrow.

I am babysitting all week for a friend but I am not going to let that stop me. I am waking up, making breakfast, going swimming and then coming home and drinking a green smoothie for breakfast and everything will be off to a good start.

Here's to a better tomorrow!

Day One results

2010-10-03T07:51:00.000-07:00

My car, the activist...

Since it is General Conference weekend things are thrown off a little bit. I'm not heading to the gym until Monday so the exercise parts of the plan didn't happen, but that's ok.

I ate very carefully and counted every calorie and I ended up with 1356 for the day.

My starting weight on Oct 1st was 154.8 and today on the scale I was 153.8. So I'm off to a good start!

I spent a lot of time yesterday watching clips of The Daily Show and the Colbert Report, but I am going to the Rally to Restore Sanity, so I'm calling that preparing myself for the rally. I also prepared my car for the Rally as seen in the pictures above. Go HERE for the Squirrel! reference if you are curious.

President Obama said the "or something like that" quote and I thought it was funny and added it to a window.

Starting tomorrow everything goes back to the Master Plan for October! And by that I mean no more Jon Stewart all day marathons, and I get to get back to swimming!

Happiness Project, Month 2: October

2010-10-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my second goal and happy October!

After much thought and consideration I have decided that the goal for this month is going to be about health. This shouldn't be surprising given how much time and money I have spent taking classes and learning about alternative healing methods. This is going to be a BIG one.

This is the why: Because when I take care of me and my house I feel better. I honestly feel happier when I do things right, but it's far easier not to. This month I am making myself do it all right and hopefully it will become a pattern!

I have broken it down into different areas.

PHYSICAL:

Schedule my annual physical with my doctor.
Schedule a dental appointment and make ALL follow ups.

FITNESS:

I have been swimming 2000 meters most days, I plan to continue doing that, I also want to increase distance and/or be able to swim more laps in a row. Currently I do sets of 50s, 100s and some 150s. My PR is 7 laps in a row. For those not up on swim lingo a length is one direction in the pool, 25 meters, and a lap is down and back once. I'd like to swim 4 days a week or more.

I also plan to run and lift weights three times a week with my friend Edith.

DIETARY:

I am going to eat macrobiotic a couple times a week and pay more strict attention to eating vegan.
I am going to take a stab at counting calories because I need to keep losing weight and it will give me clearer boundaries.
I am going to make more whole food meals and rely on convenience foods less for me and the kids.
Green smoothies!

And for the don'ts: Even though Halloween is this month I am going to lower my sugar and refined food intake. It took almost 3 months for my chocolate cravings to reduce in severity, but it was replaced with sugar in general. It's easier to say NO to it, but I need to be more careful with it.

WEIGHT:

I'm not going to make a goal for how much weight I want to lose this month because that would put more stress on myself that I care for, but the goal is to lose a significant amount! I am now no longer officially obese and have moved into the overweight category, and I'd like to be in a healthy range. It's not going to happen this month, but I want to make a significant improvement.

EMOTIONAL:

For my emotional health I think I need to keep better care of my surroundings, mainly clean more often and just do a better job. I feel like when it's messy on the outside that it's a reflection of what is inside. My surroundings have become much cleaner, but there is room for improvement.

I also plan on sleeping more. I'm going to try and be in bed by 1030pm or sooner and wake up daily at 630am.

AND I want to spend more quality time with the kids.

MENTAL:

And finally! For my mental health I am going to manage my time more effectively. Less time on the computer, more time doing positive things. I need to spend more time working on my calling. I also want to read more, and work on my Personal Progress.

Goodbye September!

2010-09-30T11:50:00.001-07:00

Here's my review of the month:

Goal: Get out of the house every day this month.

Results: I got out every day except for one. My kids woke up on a Sunday with fevers and coughs so we stayed in and watched movies all day together.

I learned that it's easier than it seems to get out. And I'm so glad I did this, I broke my rut of staying home too often, I got to the gym way more, I went out to play dates and fun times with my girls. *Massive Highlight was the concert! Thanks Jasmine, that totally rocked!!!

Since I spent more time out it was easier to keep the house clean and I got a lot better at arriving places on time. I know how much time it takes to get ready and I don't waste quite as much time as before.

What I will take from it:

I'm not going to stress out if I don't make it out every day, but I am going to keep swimming as many days a week as I can. I love it, and I'm so glad I am able to do it! I want to have a goal of taking the kids to one fun thing a week whether it be a park, or a beach.

Come back tomorrow to find out the next goal!

Welcome October!

I'm back!

2010-09-28T10:04:00.000-07:00

The trip was good, I had a good time with my in-laws. And I got to swim while I was there so that was good.

It rained the whole time on the drive back, I took a wrong turn twice because the signs are really bad and didn't tell me I needed to turn or exit until it was too close to change lanes. I needed an oil change, then my wiper blades shredded while I was using them with two hours to go, AND a sleeping Kaia in the back so I couldn't stop because she NEEDED that nap. And then... the engine light came on. It was a comedy of errors.

But we made it back in time for me to put in 2000 meters swimming.

I woke up this morning not feeling that well so I'm staying in and being a recluse until this evening when I will go back to the gym! Gotta work off that vacation weight...

Weekend Craziness

2010-09-23T05:38:00.000-07:00

So I won't be posting anything for a few days because I am driving up to visit Chris' mom for the weekend. But here are some plans...

Today there is the Grey's Anatomy and Bones premieres and I am going out to watch them with friends. I cannot wait, I love these shows so much!!

I am hoping and praying I will be able to swim this weekend, otherwise I have to wait until Monday to do it again, I am totally hooked!

And while up in Pacolet, SC I am sure there will be libraries, dogs to walk and little things to do. And I get to see my Brother-in-law for the first time in YEARS. Seriously, last time I saw him Taiten was 6 months old so that was 5 and 1/2 years ago.

I'll be driving back Sunday and I'll see you all again!

2000 meters

2010-09-22T08:12:00.001-07:00

Today I woke up at 6:30 and got the kids up with me. We made breakfast, got ready and then went to the YMCA so I could swim. It's day 2 of swimming and I swam 2000 meters, yesterday I only did 800. I am very proud of myself and if I didn't get out any more today I would count this day an Epic WIN!

Fieldtrip!

2010-09-21T18:34:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up tired and I was tired all day, it wasn't fun. I was edgy and yelled at my kids too much. I think the herbal kidney cleanse I am doing is wearing me out or something, but I was glad we had a field trip scheduled to take the edge off today.

Susie and I loaded up our kids and went to Skidaway Island, it was my first time there. We met a bunch of other homeschoolers and played at the aquarium and on the nature trails. It was really fun and the kids had such a good time. They loved the "petting zoo" the most. Horseshoe crabs are really cool.

Then I went to the gym despite being exhausted. Last night I swam 800 meters, not bad for my first time swimming in a year, I'm excited to work up to way more. I think that might have been part of the reason I was so tired. Anyway, I ran for a half hour and did weights. And then I got to go to Jessica's house and watch the Daily Show and Colbert Report, I am a total junkie. Fun day!

Park day again

2010-09-20T12:30:00.001-07:00

Today I took the kids to the park while I had a meeting with some friends of mine from church. The kids had a much nicer time at this park, and there were more kids, less sun and less bugs, so it was really fun. It was so nice to hang out and chat with friends as well. And for once I was a prepared mama and had food and drinks for my kids. I don't know how I ever leave the house thinking my kids won't be hungry when at home they are starving every 20 minutes.

Then I stopped by Jasmine's house and we chatted for a while which is always fun. I left feeling very emotionally fed and happy. I love my friends. They make my world a happy place to be.

The Weekend

2010-09-19T15:24:00.001-07:00

Saturday I went to the take youth dance and got my groove on and embarrassed at least one youth. It was fun though. I danced a few dances and hung out with the kids and Amber, it was her first dance as a chaperon, I hope she enjoyed herself. Despite the sometimes lame music, it was still fun. I missed Jasmine at the dance though :(

Today I went to church, we had to get up early for a meeting and stay late because of a meeting. My kids did surprisingly well for those long hours of church! Today was the primary program, I always love watching them perform and see how Taiten improves from year to year.

I was asked to give the closing prayer and I really felt the spirit strongly as I gave it. It was a good church day. There was a little craziness as usual, some weirder than others, but I don't want to gossip so I'll leave it at that.

And then my home teachers stopped by, which was a much needed spiritual boost. It's nice to have good people in your home sometimes.

The Sentient Bean

2010-09-17T20:51:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up rested and recovered from the concert. Totally back to myself again and ready to go!

We met Amber at a park on base where the kids played for an hour and then they got really warm AND we were being attacked by bugs so we had to break up the fun early, so that was a bummer, but there is always next time!

Then I met Susie and we headed to Savannah to go to my favorite little herb shop and health food store in town, Brighter Day and I got some herbs I was missing and much in need of. I love finding new herbs to play with! I got the final ingredient I needed for a kidney cleanse I am needing to use.

Afterward we went to the Sentient Bean. It is a truly awesome coffee shop and the only exclusively vegetarian (some items vegan) restaurant that I could locate in Georgia south of Atlanta. I am so impressed with this place. They make vegan baked goods and lots of yummy vegan foods. We ordered Beanie's Choice which means you let the chef decide what you eat. I asked for it to be vegan and he made us amazing wrap sandwiches. They were so yummy! And all raw except for the tortilla. Highly recommended!

Adam Lambert and other Atlanta Adventures

2010-09-16T07:13:00.000-07:00

Adam Lambert concert in Atlanta at the Tabernacle, 9-15-10

These are pictures of Allison Iraheta who opened for Adam, I love her jacket and I want it. You can't really tell, but there is a bustle on the back of it...

This pictures uploaded backwards... Anyway, this was the encore, one of the guitarists is going back to his own band, this was his last night, so they all put on dread wigs and sang for him.

Singing Fever. This was my favorite song of the show, that and Music Again, it was fun to watch him hit the high notes in person.

These two were from the opening sequence, there is his crazy outfit that I loved...

Here he is telling people that they probably won't meet the love of their life in a bar.

Me and Jasmine waiting to get into the concert.

It has been way too many years since I have been to a concert so I was completely stoked when Jasmine bought tickets for my birthday to see Adam Lambert. I hadn't heard that many of his songs so I bought the album and listened to it on repeat for three days before we went so I would know the songs.

So I went over to Jasmine's house in the morning yesterday and we spent about 4 hours costuming ourselves too look all funky/rockabilly/whatever... Because this is not a jeans and T-Shirt kind of concert.

We drove 4 hours away to Atlanta, we go there just in time to get a good spot. It was general admittance, which basically means giant mosh pit. The Tabernacle holds about 2,600 people, with some of that being on the upper level, so it's pretty small. We were 10-30 feet away from the stage at all times. It was really amazing. The show started at 7:30 with a cool group I had never heard of, lead singer Allison Iraheta, who I guess was on American Idol, but I don't watch so I didn't know. She is very talented, her hair was amazing, and she wore the coolest jacket I have ever seen.

After she played her set they played regular old music for about an HOUR before Adam came on, what a diva... But we had a blast dancing and chatting with the people around us.

Then he finally came on, he was wearing very outrageous clothing, and it was really cool. The show is really good. The choreography is amazing, it's very theatrical, which I love, so I really enjoyed it.

Until I fainted. I have never fainted before, so it was weird. But here's what happened. Adam was half way done and I started feeling dizzy. It occurred to me that I hadn't eaten or drank that much with costuming and then the rush to get there in time. Plus we were in the middle of a couple thousand fans all pressing close together to get closer. We were sweating and it was HOT, sooo HOT. I was feeling faint and I went to the bar to get some water. And then four men were picking me up off the ground. I was laying there thinking I was dreaming and then reality set it. I remembered I was at the concert, I was wondering why I was on the floor. The guys got me to the bar and I drank 2 glasses of water and then a paramedic (on staff that night, there were a lot of boozers there) made me go sit down in the room they were showing the concert on TV. I was so dizzy and disoriented. I felt like there was cotton in my ears, and I was so woozy and ditzy for about 20 minutes. On the way to the TV room the guys said "It was nice catching you, we'd do it again." That was kind.

Anyway, I was sitting there with some other people, I told them I fainted and they asked if I had a friend in there I should tell. I said, yeah, I should text her, she's probably waiting for me. So I opened up the phone and saw that I had a text from a girl from church and I opened it, read it, and then wrote to her the text I meant to write to Jasmine. Which was funny because she was asking where we were meeting for a church meeting and I replied "I just passed out and fell on the floor, they made me go to the TV room." I am still laughing about that. She wrote back all panicked and I said, "Whoops, I sent the text to the wrong person." The woman sitting next to me laughed and asked if I needed her to text for me. I finally was able to write to Jasmine and let her know what happened.

I was feeling dizzy until the concert was over, so I watched it from the TV room. But that was ok, I had already heard my favorite songs from 10 feet away from him. It was all really good, and even with the fainting I am so glad I went. I had a BLAST! And after this I am officially a fan of men wearing eyeliner...

After I was able to stand up again we went outside and found his tour bus and waited by the fence where he came and signed our tickets for us, I love that there are still performers who do this.

Then we started for home, stopped off at IHOP for whatever meal it is you eat at 1am where the midnight sillies hit us. We were all glam'd up and getting lots of stares for "looking weird." Probably didn't help that we were singing and dancing in the booth, and laughing uncontrollably about herbs. In her nursing school Drug Book they renamed herbs that are well known like Comfrey and St. John's Wort, they became Ass Ear and Demon Chaser. Which is kind of profane and it doesn't make any sense. I thought maybe it was the sillies, but this morning it still isn't clear and I am still laughing about it.

And the last adventure of the night was the rest of the drive home. We didn't get home until 4am and we were exhausted, and almost to the point of sleep driving until we put in Michael Jackson and sang at the top of our lungs for almost the rest of the way home. So thank you MJ for keeping us awake and dancin' all the way home!

Fun day at the park....and the sandwich I have been craving for SO long

2010-09-14T10:28:00.000-07:00

I took the kids to the park today to meet up with my friend Amber and her kids. It has been SO hot in Georgia that I haven't let the kids play outside hardly ever. It's finally cooling off and we were able to stay for a couple hours playing and chatting and having fun. It was so refreshing to take the kids somewhere to play instead of staying home and being boring.

And then the part I am most excited about... So I ran out of diapers and since I was already on base I stopped at the Commissary because they carry the type Kaia needs, she is super sensitive and has to have the organic kind, and I don't have enough cloth in her size... anyway, the diapers are not the exciting part, the rest of the trip is. I decided to wander the aisles and see what stuff they have there since I never go there. They have expanded their vegan options by a ton, I was so happy with it, I was able to buy a ton of new products that I can't wait to try. Including fake turkey slices, fake cheese slices and dried figs and so many yummy things.

I have been craving a turkey club sandwich for months and I was finally able to satisfy that. This sandwich has the fake turkey, fake swiss cheese (and they both taste remarkably correct), arugula lettuce, dried fig slices (which are to die for in this sandwich). I also added some vegenaise, and I toasted the bread and put Earth Balance (vegan butter) on it. It's delicious!

Acoustic Dreams

2010-09-13T12:22:00.000-07:00

(This is not a picture of my guitar...)

Today I woke up at 7am to the tweeting of my phone. And I'm not joking, my ringtone for texts is tweeting birds. I got a text about a guitar for sale nearby. I have been wanting to learn guitar since I was about 12 years old, but no one would teach me for free, and we didn't have the money to buy a guitar and lessons so I never had a chance.

So my first trip out of the house was to go meet the owner and buy his guitar. I'm excited to start learning and I found a site with free beginner lessons so after the Adam Lambert concert I'm going to start. Meanwhile, if anyone out there wants to teach me what they know about guitar, PLEASE feel free!

I am also going out later today around 6 to go to the gym. I'm going to be a gym rat again. I miss working out well and my friend Edith invited me to join her every day at 6 so once I get through the next couple weeks of appointments, play dates and scheduling I am going to keep evenings free for exercising and I am going to LOSE weight or bust!

Surprise!

2010-09-12T07:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had made plans with a friend to take the kids to a play place and just hang out and chill so we loaded up in the car and she "forgot" her money so we swung by her place and there was a surprise party waiting for me.

I have honestly never had a surprise party before and I had NO CLUE about this one. I am usually extremely in tune and it's very hard for anyone to surprise me with anything. I almost always guess what I am getting for my birthday, Chris has almost never gotten me a gift I wasn't expecting, which kind of takes the fun out. I don't do it on purpose, it just almost always happens. So this was such a happy surprise! Kudos to Jasmine for completely blindsiding me!

People had made all these awesome vegan goodies, my kids were in heaven! I had such a good time, I think my favorite part was the Grey's Anatomy sing-a-long. That was pretty amazing.

I think this day of Getting Out is going to be hard to beat... Well, maybe the Adam Lambert concert that was one of my gifts.. That day is going to rock.

I love my friends :)

(I don't have any pics from the party so I added this silly one of a hairstyle gone crazy!)

Beach!

2010-09-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went to the beach. It was a wonderful way to start the "Get out of the House" part of the project.

The story is kind of funny to those who know me well... We left for Jekyll Island, which is in Southern Gerogia, just past Brunswick which is 38 miles from Florida. In true "Britta" form, we were driving along for what felt like too long and I started recognizing where I was. I felt like I was about to enter Florida, but I wasn't sure because I hadn't seen the signs I was looking for. Seven miles later I crossed the bridge into Florida, we screamed and laughed and turned around and went back to Jekyll where my patient friend Susie had been waiting for us for hours. We hung out, played, talked, collected shells for an hour or so when the lightening started. I came to the beach prepared to stay til dark, but when we saw lightening strike the ocean it was clear it was time to evacuate!

So it was a whirlwind trip, but it was so fun, the beach is so centering and freeing for me. It's so wonderful. And I am going to go back more frequently now!

First Goal: Leave the House Every Day

2010-09-09T11:56:00.000-07:00

Since this is the first month of making changes in my life I thought I would start off with something simple. So my first monthly goal is to

LEAVE THE HOUSE EVERY DAY

I have a really bad habit of going out, buying all the groceries and things we need and then just staying home and never even leaving the house, sometimes all week. I'll take the garbage out and check the mail, but other than that I might never even see day light. Now it's not like this every week, but sometimes I'll just be in a funk and stay in. It does not feel good to live like this, it's just one of my bad habits.

So along with this goal, I want to plan fun outings with the kids, have more play dates, and also do fun things with my friends. And get out every day!

The weather is finally getting to a bearable point, it's not hitting 100* every day anymore so this is totally doable!

Birthday Decisions

2010-09-08T19:31:00.000-07:00

I have decided that I am going to give myself the gift of a clean house for my birthday. This might not sound exciting, however I am a terrible house keeper but I love having the house clean. It feels better when everything is neat and orderly, but I don't enjoy the act and work of cleaning. So tomorrow, for my birthday I am going to spend as long as it takes cleaning until it's done.

Then instead of a proper party I am going to visit a friend who is moving and play Dance Dance Revolution until I drop. Then this weekend I'm going out with another friend, plans to be determined. AND THEN, in October when it cools down I am taking my kids camping because we all love it as a belated family birthday thing. So I am happy with how this birthday is turning out.

Tonight I went bowling with some friends and youth from church and my friend Amber made a vegan chocolate cake that was to die for. I am so blessed to have friends who learn new ways of cooking so they can bake for my birthday!

Debut of the Happiness Project

2010-09-01T19:29:00.000-07:00

Today is September 1st. My birthday is the 9th. I will be 29 years old.

I firmly believe that life is to be lived, and lived well. We are supposed to be happy and joyful and loved. I know I am loved, I have a wonderful family. My children and husband love me, and I have some amazing friends. I haven't always felt happy though. I have often felt that something was missing.

I am spending this year in search of true happiness. Here's how it works.

I am going to declare a goal for every month and document the process on this blog.

My first goal is to throw myself a birthday party and then on my birthday I will tell the world what my first monthly goal is.

Whole Meal Muffins aka Food Storage Muffins

2010-09-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

DO NOT preheat the oven.

I use a blendtec to grind wheat, you can also just use flour if you don't have a wheat grinder.

3/4 c oats

3/4 c whole wheat

3/4 c sugar or sucanat (any granulated sweetener)

Then choose between

3/4 c dehydrated carrots, 3/4 cup cream of wheat, 3/4 cup bran cereal or wheat germ.

Put it in the blendtec and blend on 9 for 50 seconds, if you use cream of wheat don't blend it, add it to the dry ingredients after blending. Empty contents into a bowl. Add to the dry ingredients:

1 1/4 Tablespoons baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

3/4 c hydrated beans (pinto and garbanzo are good)

3/4 c almond milk, juice or water

3/4 c olive oil (if you want to substitute, use at least 1/2 c oil otherwise they will stick)

Then pick from at least two, or all three of the following:

1 c sweet potato, squash, pumpkin etc, cooked or steamed.

1/2 c veggies (i.e. celery, radish, hominy, water chestnuts, or anything that strikes your fancy)

1/2 c fruit (i.e. half of a banana, pear, apple, fruit cocktail or anything you want)

Blend all the ingredients on 5, or until smooth, completely smooth. The wet ingredients should be the consistency of cake batter, add water if it's too thick and blend again.

Add to the dry ingredients and mix. If you want to, add some cinnamon, pumpkin pie seasonings, ginger etc.

Let set for a minute or two to let the carrots hydrate and divide into muffin cups. These muffins don't need paper, they don't stick. These make 12 muffins and 12 mini muffins.

Put in a cold oven, set to 350 for 18-20 minutes.

Tip: If you plan to omit the oil, don't, they will stick and if you try to use muffin liners they won't come off. You can do 1/4 cup apple sauce and 1/2 cup oil, but you will need a minimum of 1/2 cup oil.

These are really cool because these are made primarily from church food storage, the stuff you can get at a cannery. Wheat, carrots, sugar, oats, beans, and you could do apple slices for your fruit, all from food storage.

My kids eat the entire batch in a half hour.

The Mala Bead Project

2010-08-16T07:44:00.001-07:00

I'm not ashamed to say that I stole this idea from my cousin, I thought it was fantastic and I am doing it for myself. A few months ago my mala bead strand broke and beads went flying everywhere. I was so upset about it. I collected all the beads I could find, but sadly it wasn't even close to the right amount. A mala bead strand has 108 beads in it. I have maybe half. So what I am asking is for all my wonderful friends to pick out a bead for my strand and give it to me, or mail it to me if you are far away. I need them to be the size of a dry chick pea or larger so they will fit. No teeny tiny ones please, I wouldn't be able to string them.

Having different beads from my friends and family would be so special to me! I'm excited to see the different beads you all pick out for me.

Mail them to PO Box 502, Allenhurst, GA 31301

Kaia as Queen Amidala

2010-08-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

We are going to the Star Wars Celebration (a.k.a. convention) in a week and I made Kaia her costume. The store bought ones were cheesy and terrible. So I spent almost a complete 40 hours doing this...

And she loves it!!

The person I am going to be...

2010-07-30T06:00:00.001-07:00

The person I am going to be

Goes to bed at a reasonable hour.
Reasonable is defined as before 11pm (10 is better)

Paints a little every day
I already have the supplies (What is holding me back?)

REMEMBERS HER DREAMS
(enough said)

Wears dramatic clothing
I need a backer (and a WHOLE new wardrobe)

Practices yoga and reiki and meditates etc.
She is at peace (ripples in the pond)

Unashamedly speaks foreign languages
I already know two (they are forgotten, but not lost)

Keeps an immaculate home
When peace is without, it can be within (Does it still work if I pay someone to clean?)

Loves people with whole heart
I do. (Really)

Deployment

2010-07-09T06:22:00.000-07:00

So for the 2 people who read my blog I just wanted to say that Chris is now in Iraq moving along to his FOB in a few days. He got there alright and is doing fine! His job is nicer there than it was here and there are less mean people to deal with so it's not so bad.

Here are a couple pictures of our last hours together.

Also, I started yet another blog, http://legomaniactaiten.blogspot.com/

This is all about the cool things Taiten makes with legos without a book telling him what to do. I posted two so far in video form, and then I figured out how to make just pictures from my videos so most of them will just be pictures from now on so if your internet isn't super fast check back anyway!

Best Canning Salsa Recipe

2010-06-18T07:52:00.000-07:00

http://belleadorn.blogspot.com/2008/08/best-salsa-recipe.html

The blog above has the best salsa recipe I have ever used. I love the stuff, so if you are thinking about canning your own and need a good recipe, this is it!

Disney Wind

2010-06-04T08:02:00.000-07:00

When we were at Disney World yesterday my dad, son and I were standing under the Spaceship Earth ride (big golf ball) taking shelter from the light sprinkling and the next minute the wind was so hard we were running from flying strollers and soaked to the bone in about 10 seconds. It was insane!

On the plus side, a bunch of baby spider plants were blown from their "mamas" and I snagged 4 of them :)

Dread-less

2010-05-17T11:41:00.001-07:00

My hair doesn't actually look like this, but this was immediately after the de-dreading process.

It took 12 days, about 50 hours and it's done!

French Obsession Give-A-Way

2010-04-01T04:54:00.001-07:00

http://lechateaudesfleurs.blogspot.com/2010/03/french-obsession-party-1-frenchy.html

My friend is having a give-a-way on her blog. It's current until next week and she'll announce the winner!

What I know right now

2010-03-29T12:29:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about my greater purpose in life and what I should be doing. As in, What should I be when I grow up? I've been asking myself that for 10 years and I am only now finally just beginning to figure it out. But I still don't know... Someone help me!

What I know right now...

I want to work with women and teenage girls.
I want to footzone, but not regularly, I want it to be a tool and not a way of life.
I want to do energy work, energy work could be the way of life.
I am loving learning about being a doula.
I want to dance.
I love music.

These all have to be incorporated.

I want to do something specific, like have a narrowed field of what I do instead of it being so broad. I recently realized that I want to work with women only so that narrowed it a lot. I am loving the field of pregnancy and childbirth, but I'm not sure if I want to focus on that alone. I love the spirituality of pregnancy and having two spirits together but I don't know if that will be my focus.

I also love the idea of empowering women in general and helping people learn what their purpose is. Which is funny because I don't really know mine yet.

I don't want to be a life-coach or a therapist. I want to create a program that can be delivered online to benefit anyone, but I want to do hands on work with people. But I don't know what it would be about.

Every time I take a class it enriches me a lot and I get closer to figuring it out. I need to find the next class to take that will shape me but I don't know what it will be.

Maybe yoga. I think I need to find some form of meditation, and it can't be dance because I'm not confident enough with that.

I would love to hold outdoor retreats, but it would have to have the right energy about it. I do not want to be the one companies go to to have company retreats. I want it to be more about personal awareness.

I'm just brainstorming here. I think the "job" I want hasn't been created yet. I don't want to work for anyone, I want to be just me, or me and the people who work with me. But I don't want a boss.

My new job :)

2010-03-22T13:43:00.001-07:00

I am now a birth doula. I took an amazing class for it and I cannot wait to start. Now where are all the pregnant ladies? I love babies, I love pregnant bellies, and most of all I love women becoming mothers. I can't wait to start guiding women in this time of their lives!

No Meat Happy Pig Sausage

2010-03-16T12:14:00.000-07:00

I just made some sausage from wheat berries. It's really good, but has a few kinks to be worked out. Here it is and my ideas for next time I make them.

1 c hard wheat (Boil it for about a half hour, it boils up to 2 1/2 cups cooked)
2 T oil of your choice.
1/4 c sausage seasoning (recipe called for 1T, but I like it with a lot of flavor)

Sausage seasoning:

3T ground rosemary
7T salt
3.5 T basil
7T ground sage
1tsp cayenne
3.5 T marjoram
1 tsp garlic powder (I used granules)

Take the cooked wheat berries and the oil and put them through a food processor, you want there to be chunks of wheat, not a smooth paste.

Stir in seasonings, taste to make sure it's the right flavor for your liking and then form them into patties and pan fry them.

What I did was put about 2 Tablespoons in each muffin tin and it made 20 patties. I baked them at 300* for 10 minutes. They were kind of crumbly, but I want to bake them, not fry. Next time I think I will add a half cup cooked lentils to it to boost the protein and make them stick together better.

In 4 patties, without the beans there are:

5 grams of protein
6 grams of fat
175 calories

2010-02-10T04:19:00.001-08:00

On this day of your life, Britta, I believe God wants you to know...

..that the election is over, the votes have been counted,

and you win.

It was not even a close race, because all the votes in

Heaven are for you. Nobody can defeat you, and

nobody ever could. In this campaign, you were

declared the winner long ago.

So...you can stop running now. Relax. Breathe. It's a

landslide. You're in.

The only thing left now is for you to know it. Do you?

If you do, you will experience it.

Things to do before you die

2010-02-08T17:18:00.001-08:00

101 Things to do Before I Die

My friend had cancer and started this list. She is almost in remission and is continuing the list. I want to do this too. Sounds very fulfilling. Some of the items needed to be changed from what the book says because I am doing them with LDS standards... And it has to have been done within the last 5 years, things you do when you are 10 don't count. Do them again!

1. Write a book
2. Swim with dolphins
3. Win an award
4. Catch a fish
5. Make a discovery
6. Kidnap a friend and throw them a party
7. Knit a sweater
8. Realize your childhood dream
9. Learn that instrument
10. Leave your mark in graffiti
11. Storm chase a tornado
12. Get a piece of art into an exhibition
13. Meet someone with your own name
14. Sing in public
15. Meet a Beatle changed to : Solve a crime
16. Get into the World Book of Records
17. Own a pointless collection
18. Earn a belt in a martial art
19. Master something and enter a tournament
20. Attend a science fiction convention (in costume)
21. Be part of a scientific experiment
22. Go up in a hot air balloon
23. Get arrested changed to: Reach my goal weight (I've been arrested before, not going to do it again...)
24. See a Space Shuttle launch
25. Take an award winning photograph

26. Bungee Jump changed to: Go whale watching Done! 2005, we took a trip to Maui

27. See an erupting volcano Done! 2006, we went to the Big Island, HI!

28. Learn ballroom dancing
29. Meet your idol
30. Stay in the best suite of a 5-star hotel
31. Experience weightlessness
32. See the Aurora Borealis
33. Score a hole in one
34. Make a drink that is YOU
35. Play a part in your favorite TV show
36. Visit every continent
37. Start a fire without matches
38. See wild animals in the wild
39. Save a rescue dog.
40. Fly first class
41. Be friends with your ex
42. Go to a shooting range
43. Throw a dart in a map and go there
44. Attend a film premiere
45. Invent a game
46. Scuba dive
47. Milk a cow
48. Attend the Olympics
49. See both solar and lunar eclipses
50. Go on a cruise
51. Learn another language
52. Read the 100 best books
53. Complete a coast-to-toast trip across the US

54. Make a HUGE purchase DONE! January 2009, the house... I wish it was more fun but what can I say..

55. Graduate college
56. Crash a party
57. See the best 100 films
58. Compete in a 5K
59. Help someone find a job
60. Take part in a police line-up
61. Get away with a hoax/practical joke
62. Learn to fix my own car
63. Make the front page of the newspaper
64. Drive a car at top speed
65. Go spelunking
66. Be part of a flash mob
67. Visit the church history sites
68. Save someone’s life
69. Learn to order water in several languages
70. Invent a word that makes into the dictionary
71. Wear a wild dress to church
72. Climb a mountain
73. Stand on the International Date Line
74. Skydive
75. Get a fantastic henna tatoo
76. Invent something
77. Learn to read the constellations
78. Wear vintage clothes and act like the year they were made for a day
79. Answer a personal ad
80. Spend Christmas at the beach
81. Tape 5 books for the blind
82. Build a house
83. Skinny dip at midnight

84. Sell a piece of junk on E-bay for profit Done! Feb 2009, a ton of books we didn't want.

85. Visit the world’s tallest building(s)
86. Bury some treasure
87. Conquer your fear
88. Enter a soap box derby-type event
89. Cook a week’s worth of gourmet meals
90. Grow a plant garden
91. Design a website
92. Own an original piece of art
93. Visit all the place on the Monopoly board
94. Get something named after you
95. Forgive someone something huge
96. Be an extra in a film
97. Live out of a van for a week
98. Go on a demonstration
99. Make a confession
100. Beat a life-threatening disease (Hope to never have to do this one)

101. Continue your gene pool Done! April 30, 2007, this was Kaia!

Changes

2010-01-28T19:01:00.001-08:00

Things are finally starting to change. A person decided to cut me out of their life, which was a really odd experience, but after that happened, things started to progress. I just now realized that as I typed it. I was feeling weird and kind of sad and confused, but look at the results. It's a good thing.

I am appreciating my friends more, and working harder towards goals. I have set different types of goals and it's nice to be doing different things. For example, I have been practicing making cakes and making fondant. It's been hard, but fun. It's nice to be more creative.

I've been exercising in new ways and that feels good. I have a long long way to go, but I have a good start.

Good things are happening!

Confusion

2009-11-19T08:01:00.000-08:00

I am sabotaging myself. I don't know why, but it has been apparent for at least 4 months now. I've been trying to figure it out but I can't. I feel like I need to reconnect with the earth and I'm not sure how.

Rant alert: Doctors and shots

2009-10-30T11:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we all got the H1N1 (Swine Flu) mist vaccine- no needles involved. Within an hour I got a headache that wouldn't go away and I still have it. Hydrating and all the usual standbys aren't working on it so I feel safe in saying I think it's caused by the vaccine. Thankfully that's all that's wrong with me...

Before the vaccine Taiten was fine. Today he's coughing, runny nose, headache, ear infection, throwing up etc. The runny nose goes with the ear infection which aren't a part of Swine Flu, but it's likely that the vaccine brought on the other flu like symptoms.

Since it's swine flu, I was kind of freaked out so after trying some natural remedies to try and reduce the ear pain we went to the hospital.

We got seen right away which never happens so it started well. Then the doctor asked what Taiten had been eating and drinking that day. I told him that since he's sick he doesn't want food and he had been sleeping most of the day so he hadn't been hydrating yet. He told me "When children are ill we find that they don't ask for food and drink and it's our job to feed them." I was shocked at how rude that was, I felt like he was trying to make me feel like a bad parent.

In the spirit of not being rude I didn't tell him that I know that food doesn't always help, in fact, it can hinder getting well from something like this. And I know how important hydrating is, but sleep is also important and if he's asleep, then that's what he needs at the moment.

I told him that we had all received the H1N1 vaccine the day before and asked if we should be worried that some flu symptoms were presenting. He told me that there was no correlation between the two. That's when Chris stood up and told the guy that Taiten was not ill before, then he got the mist and within hours he had flu symptoms so it was obviously related.

The doctor wouldn't admit that it was even possible. Like I am going to believe him when that makes no sense. I can't stand doctors sometimes. If you want me to take your advice, start by not insulting me personally, not insulting my intelligence, tell the truth about things and don't be rude!

Taiten's pillow gun

2009-10-08T18:47:00.000-07:00

The other day Taiten brought a pillow up to Chris and told him that he had a gun and he figured out how it worked. Chris asked how and then Taiten beaned him in the head with the pillow. We couldn't stop laughing.

More Neale

2009-10-07T04:04:00.000-07:00

This is a good one for me because yesterday I was feeling really bad about everything. I'm not good enough at anything it seems sometimes. I always need to do more, do better etc. Those feelings creep up on me sometimes and yesterday was a big bad feeling day.

On this day of your life, Britta, I believe God wants you to know...

...that it is not necessary to "prove yourself" to anyone.

Do your best. That's all you can ask of yourself. If you

did your best and things just didn't work out, you don't

owe an apology to anyone. And you certainly don't

need to feel 'bad' about it -- or, worse yet, guilty.

Stop beating yourself up. What happened is what

happened. You're not the 'villain' here, I promise. It's

just what happened. And there is a Soul Reason, I

promise you.

There is only one way to go...

2009-09-29T03:43:00.001-07:00

On this day of your life, Britta, I believe God wants you to know...

..that there is only one way to go, and that's up.

I know that it is possible for life to look, sometimes, as

if it's going downhill, as if everything is falling apart. But

consider this: When life is 'falling apart' things could

actually be falling together...maybe for the first time.

Try to not see things that are not there -- and do not fail to

see things that are...

Inspiration of the day

2009-09-22T04:43:00.000-07:00

I get these inspirational emails every day from Neale Donald Walsch (who totally rocks) and sometimes they just speak to me. Many times, actually. So I'm going to be posting them here too!

On this day of your life, Britta, I believe God wants you to know...

that morning comes every day; the sunrise does not

fail, nor the sunset.

Give it time. That is all that may be required. Just give

it time. Do not try to push the river. The cycles of life

present themselves, play themselves out, and make

smooth every passage and terrain.

Try not to get caught up in your story of the moment.

Look, rather, to the Long Story. Therein will be

found your peace. The cycles will redeem this

moment, if you let them, and even this shall pass.

Blendtec

2009-09-21T16:25:00.001-07:00

I just bought a blendtec! I am so excited. I will be able grind my wheat, and make smoothies and a million other things.

I decided to buy one months ago, and all in that same month my blender broke and my food processor broke and I've had to live without those capabilities until we could afford a blendtec, and now it will be winging it's way to Georgia and I am beyond excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Silly kids

2009-09-17T07:43:00.000-07:00

Today I actually had to say the words,

"Taiten, don't steal the dirty clothes Kaia's playing with!"

Mama Bee, this is what you have to look forward to as a mom of two, lol.

Prayer

2009-09-10T18:58:00.001-07:00

Taiten was praying tonight and he said, "Please help mommy do whatever I say."

It was all I could do to keep from laughing. At least he's thinking about what he really wants!

Dang it's been a while

2009-09-02T14:37:00.000-07:00

So... I've been in lala land for a while now I guess.

Things are normal. I am not pregnant, and I am glad for that. I had all the signs of being pregnant and that was scary. You can't adopt and be pregnant at the same time.

I joined a student bellydancing troupe and I am LOVING it. We haven't performed yet, but will soon.

My birthday is in a few days and I will be a million years old.

Taiten is homeschooling now and he's doing well except for phonics and writing. Those subjects are going to be the death of me. In the meantime, we have decided to not stress about it and I honestly don't care if he learns a thing about it. He will when he's ready.

His favorite subject is math.

Today he said he's a "whole hand year old" Meaning there are 5 fingers on one hand and he is 5.

Kaia can climb into and out of her crib so she is now sleeping on the floor on a mattress. She loves it.

I miss my friendssssss!!! But I have awesome friends here, and the people who are not so awesome have decided to leave so things are working out nicely.

I am happy.

Traveling again

2009-07-03T15:15:00.000-07:00

Chris and I are leaving on the 10th for Missouri, we are driving there in two days and then the kids and I board a plane for the great Pacific Northwest! I'll be there for the remainder of the month.

For my friends who live there, I will be sans car so if you want to see me you have to come to me!

What my kids are up to and leaving for a funeral

2009-06-14T04:34:00.000-07:00

Kaia sings "Scooby dooby where are you?" She also loves Edelweiss and asks to sing "Ay-bise" Taiten's favorite song was Irish and hers is Austrian, that's cool.

Kaia quit saying Yeah and now says Yes, which sounds like a very formal answer to some of the questions we ask her.

Taiten can spell "NO" and I know I didn't teach him, I asked him who taught him that and he said, "my brain just taught me that." Smart brain.

There are spray parks on base and the kids love them. It's so hot outside that the water feels so good. We go at least once a week. I might start to go more since it's free and it's a fun thing to do, and we get out of the house to do it. I'll have to take pictures sometime.

Taiten starts swim lessons on Tuesday. I hope he loves it and gets a bit braver about water. He'll run right in with no one near him, but he's scared to have someone hold him to teach him to float.

We're going to Florida today for a funeral. I'll be back in town Monday night, probably late. Chris' grandpa passed away this week.

Tidbit from Marriagebuilders.com

2009-06-04T10:36:00.001-07:00

* A wife tends to find her husband irresistible when he

1. learns to create an environment of affection that clearly and repeatedly expresses his love for her;
2. sets aside time every day just to talk to her with undivided attention and interest;
3. is completely honest and open with her;
4. provides financial support for her and;
5. is committed to the moral and educational development of their children.

* A husband tends to find his wife irresistible when she

1. learns to join him in a sexual relationship they both find satisfying and enjoyable;
2. becomes his favorite recreational companion;
3. maintains overall appearance in a way that he finds physically attractive;
4. manages household responsibilities and;
5. understands and appreciates him more than anyone else.

Poison gas

2009-05-30T17:35:00.000-07:00

I wish I had taken a picture so you can see why I was so upset.

We were driving home when we saw a pick up truck about a quarter mile from our home, driving slowly with a huge canister in the back with a chimney spewing what looked like steam.

We slowly crept up on it and realized that it was a truck spraying poison to kill bugs. I was furious!

We had no warning that this was even something that happened where we lived. We had no choice in the matter. It went around polluting the air where we live.

I'm no fan of mosquitoes but at least they don't spray me with poison. I say, let me keep the bugs and save my health and my kids' health!

I can't say this enough, STOP KILLING THE EARTH!

Good Quote

2009-05-27T04:25:00.001-07:00

"There is never a better measure of what a person is than what he does when he's absolutely free to choose." —William M. Bulger, American Educator, Senator

List

2009-05-20T04:17:00.000-07:00

Our garden growing
bean bag chairs
horses playing
the sound of the wind in the leaves
the smell of cut grass or hay
wheat blowing in the wind
paying the bills on time
having a clean house
writing
garage sales
silliness
driving on an open road
watching fog move in the mountains

List

2009-05-19T04:19:00.000-07:00

baby animals
reading uninterrupted
watching my favorite tv show
friends
getting packages in the mail
checking my email
holding babies
having fun with my family
taking off in an airplane
roadtrips with good music
trying a new recipe
yummy desserts
runner's high

List

2009-05-17T11:39:00.000-07:00

Wind on a hot day
Cloudy day at the beach
Rain
good hair days
pudding
chocolate
french fruit tarts
cheesecake
a really good run
thunder
baby giggles
quiet kids
energy work
chic lit
chic flicks
happy endings

My book

2009-05-15T06:14:00.000-07:00

I'm closing in on 70 pages. Not bad.

and she's gone

2009-05-07T17:47:00.000-07:00

There once was an invisible blogger
Who sat in an invisible chair
Who typed on an invisible computer
Who lived in an invisible house
And wrote an invisible blog

Taiten's gross idea

2009-05-05T05:13:00.001-07:00

So today I had to make home made syrup because we ran out. Then while he was eating breakfast he asked for some milk, he had home made on the brain and asked if I can make home made milk. I told him that in order for me to make milk I have to have a baby. So his gross idea was, "Do you have to cook a baby to get home made milk?"

Self Confidence Questions

2009-04-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

I'm writing a book about this in order to understand it better. Your responses may be used for the book, so let me know if it's ok to use it, use your name, or tell me if you want a fake name.

Self esteem, self confidence, self worth.

What is it?

Did you always have it? Did you lose it? How did you get it back?

How has poor self worth held you back in the past? How has good self worth changed your results?

What would you say to someone who has no confidence, no self esteem?

Food poisoning

2009-04-26T14:18:00.000-07:00

:( Chris and I have been sick for 12 hours so far, I think it's nearing it's end. I used a ton of essential oils and I had less pain that I would have since it started out bad. I'm so grateful for oils.

Being sick is hard. I'm such a baby when I'm sick.

Kaia's awesome cake!

2009-04-18T06:51:00.001-07:00

Her birthday is the 30th of April, but since Taiten's is the 17th we are doing the parties today for both of them.

We have a May Pole and a Pinata, and of course the scads of toys that we already have... It's going to be fun.

Kaia loves her "horsey" cake. She always asks to be picked up to see it. And she asks to "sit by it" I think we all know what that really means, haha.

Taiten's awesome birthday cake and a warning :)

2009-04-16T19:12:00.000-07:00

I made this cake all by myself (Chris made the wings) and I am so stinking proud of it!

Here's the warning... My computer has been overheating and shutting off and the fans run all noisy so I know it's clogged with dust and junk. So like the wiz kid I am I get out the Kirby (fancy vacuum :) and suck all the junk out through the heat sinks on the back. While I'm at it I decide to do the same for the keyboard. THE BEAST ATE MY B! Dangit! I should have thought of that before...

Anyway, cleaning the heat sinks with the vacuum worked wonderfully, but don't use it on the keyboard!

How to Make and Use The BYU Solar Cooker/Cooler

2009-04-06T16:11:00.000-07:00

If you haven't seen this yet, it's amazing. You can boil water with it. It's made out of cardboard, aluminum foil, a jar painted black and a few other things. It's so basic and so amazing.

http://solarcooking.org/plans/funnel.htm

Kaia's funny way of talking

2009-03-31T09:47:00.001-07:00

She has really weird grammar. For example, when she wants juice she will say, "Mommy, juice, me"

Also, when we're eating something, we always ask her if she wants a bite, so she understands this as "eating food."

So today she wanted something to eat and she said, "Mommy, Bite, me." I laughed and said, "You want me to bite you." She looked alarmed and said, "Scary."

Funny Kaia Story

2009-03-28T16:35:00.000-07:00

The picture has nothing to do with the story, it's just been forever since I posted a picture of her.

I was doing homework tonight and Chris was playing a computer game with Taiten which left Kaia to fend for herself.

Sidebar: We have a huge mirror on the wall and Kaia is watching herself dance and it's adorable. (playing: Maroon 5, Won't go home without you)

Ok, on with the story.

Apparently she got hungry so she went to the kitchen, pushed a chair to the counter, crawled on top of the counter, opened the cupboard and took out the bread, peanut butter and agave nectar, opened the nectar and was about to make a mess when Chris walked in.

She knows how to command attention and get what she wants!

Who am I and where did I go?

2009-03-25T04:52:00.000-07:00

Questions to ask when you lose yourself

When I went through the trial of my life so far, I realized I had lost myself. It was scary to not be able to answer the question, What do you like to do? I had no idea. It started a crisis that lasted more than a year, and I still have to re-evaluate at times. These were big questions I had to answer and then do something about.

What do people expect from you? Parents? Your spouse? Your kids? Friends?

Who else has influence over you in what you feel, what you do, what do they expect from you?

Do you want to live up to the expectations? Is it healthy? Is it what you want?

If it's not healthy and not what you want, do you want to break away from it? What is the worst thing that can happen if you did? Can you deal with it and how?

Do you have toxic friendships or family members? If you do, cut the friends off and try and detach from the family. You don't have to cut them off, but emotionally detach so they can't hurt you.

Your surroundings are a huge deal, where you live can make you happy, or miserable if it's not suited to your needs. Do you need to move?

What kind of place to you want to live in? (remember to take away the expectations of others, if you want to live in a tent on the beach that's fine, it's your choice) What weather do you want? Is there a river? Trees? Is it a city? Is it a permanent dwelling or is it something you need in the short term? What about long term? Are you suited to put down roots and live somewhere forever?

These are the big ones. There are many more questions, but this is a good starting place. I am posting this everywhere I can so if you have me on facebook or myspace you'll have many opportunities to read this :)

Things to watch for

2009-03-23T05:53:00.000-07:00

Here are some resources for if you get bored and want something new to do.

Go to TED.com and watch some videos, they are all about smart people with awesome ideas. It's a lot of fun.

Learn about Dance Movement Therapy, it's yet another emotional release thing, we did some in class and it was extremely cool. I was so moved by it that I want to learn it well enough to teach it at the YMCA. My friend in the class wants to use it to help children that have been abused to love their bodies again.

Shameless plug for a friend... Get some hypnotherapy! I've done it twice with him and I love it. I've had other experiences and they were nothing compared to him. The site is... Higher Self Hypnotherapy He's based in Utah, but it doesn't matter, I do my sessions over the phone and they are possibly more powerful because you don't have inhibitions since you are the only one in the room.

And lastly, if you want to learn about vaccinations from a source that is not controlled by doctors or pharmaceutical companies check out this site, it's helped me a lot. National Vaccine Information

The dance and how badly I did...

2009-03-14T19:11:00.000-07:00

I really need to get pictures on here... Our costumes were by far the best, I even won a prize!

Anyway, my friend Jasmine and I danced to all the songs and we were the ONLY ones, we had a lot of fun.

I promise all of you that I have Thriller 100% memorized and perfect, I can even add zombie facial expressions in. I can do it with or without music, I KNOW that dang thing. Then it came up and I blew it! Jasmine was doing her own version of it and that might have thrown me off. I don't know, but half way through I lost it and I couldn't get back so we just quit. It was fun while it lasted though.

As soon as I got home I did the whole thing to try and figure out what happened. There were no kinks. Next time the party is in my living room!

I am going to dance it every day until I can do it in my sleep though. It's so much fun. We're going to wait for a talent show and we are going to Thriller it up then and show everyone! HA!

If anyone wants to learn it takes 2 hours to learn it... at www.thrilltheworld.com

I'll get pix up here eventually!

The Thriller

2009-03-12T09:45:00.001-07:00

I've been dancing the thriller for three hours today trying to learn all the dumb steps. I am supposed to be doing it in front of people in two days and it's not memorized yet. I am so tired and I don't know if I can do it. Maybe if I had a week.

I'll probably put in at least another hour today and then again tomorrow, I have to know it by Saturday!

It's so hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can do 90% of it with the narrator, and I'm guessing maybe 30 or 40% of it with just the music... yikes!

Realizations

2009-03-09T18:51:00.000-07:00

My fear is not of Chris leaving me, it’s of feeling that hurt again. I use feelings of paranoia to protect me. If something happened then I would be justified. I am afraid of being so vulnerable and hurt. It’s a true fear.

Another thing I came to terms with was a few nights ago. My ear hurt so bad that I had trouble sleeping, I was exhausted and I thought that I know I can be happy in my body the way it is, and if I had to choose between losing weight and having that pain in my ear, or staying this size forever without the pain, I would much rather stay the same size forever and just feel good. This is a big deal. I don’t think I would ever have chosen pain forever, but having “the perfect body” has had a huge pull on me in my lifetime.

Moving along…

My question is this, Can I overcome my ego? I wonder if it’s possible. I’m doing better at realizing when I choose an emotion and when I let someone else choose it for me. My ego comes out often and hard in arguments with Chris. Since I have been learning to overcome my ego with friends and other situations it’s been coming out more with Chris. We have a bad argument, one that escalates into yelling, a couple times a month, that’s a big increase. They are always about something not too serious, but it becomes serious. Today I stormed out of the house and considered staying overnight with the kids at a friend’s house. This was probably our worst fight ever. I drove about a mile, parked and prayed about what I should do. I have the realization that Chris and I could be great together, and we can do great things together. I know we are supposed to be married and we are supposed to stay together. Instead of leaving for a night, a thing I have never done in anger before, I went to the store and bought a few things as a peace offering. I was gone a total of a couple hours.

When I got home I noticed that Chris had made his own peace offering. He had cleaned the house and was getting dinner ready. Saying sorry is hard for both of us. Chris always apologizes, but it’s usually forced or it sounds forced so I never want to believe it. If I ever say sorry it’s always 100% forced and I’m usually so ticked off that it means nothing. Today I was able to see his cleaning as an apology and I hope he saw my peace offering as an apology. A few minutes ago I asked him if we were ok and he said we were so I think we have found our way to apologize, in a meaningful way that’s not forced. Acts of service.

Almost midnight

2009-03-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

And I am still awake, why?

I have no idea why I'm not tired. All 4 of us are sick to some degree, with Kaia and I feeling the best, but still, it's not great. I should be begging for sleep yet here I am.

I'll pay for it tomorrow I'll bet.

A couple weeks to go until I go to Utah again, for the second to last time. It's sad that it's coming to an end. I'll miss seeing the girls and Gregory every month. It will be nice to not have to pay for the expensive travel though. Our adoption fund will grow rapidly now.

We have paid off our largest student loan! It's so exciting. We have another big one to go and it's over. At least for a couple years before we start again :)

Follow up appointment and Vax rant...

2009-03-04T09:57:00.000-08:00

Kaia is doing well, she has probably inherited respiratory tract junk from my side of the family. It skipped me, but my dad and one brother need inhalers and the other one gets sick all the time. Hopefully with what we know about health we can help Kaia avoid a lot of it.

Little did I know that when I took her to her appointment that I would be walking into an "Immunize Your Kids" ambush. I got to sit and listen to stories about kids dying from disease that can be prevented with a shot.

I have specific concerns and I have done my research. I am not for shots, not by a long shot, but I am not completely against them either. It was really crazy in there though. The nurse that checked us in gave me some propaganda, and then the doctor brought in a student doctor to back her up on her claims that vaccinations are the only way to go. Plus she brought me "credible" resources to check out on the internet.

I wonder if she'd research my credible resources... Probably not, her opinion has been formed.

At least she is going to ask if she can get shots separated, like just the Rubella part of the MMR. She said several times that they have not done studies on if it's safer to get one at a time, or a bundle of shots together like the MMR. She also said that Mercury hasn't been proven to damage anyone, but that is a right out lie. Of course it's not healthy do inject someone with metal, especially one that causes death!

That came after I told her that shots had to be mutated to work together better. So you don't even get vaccinated for the exact right form of the disease you want to prevent, that's why it's better to get them separated.

She asked my opinion of the Chicken Pox vaccine and I told her right out it's a stupid vax that will encourage an outbreak in adults when the vaccine wears off, and when the disease is far more dangerous. She just stared at me like I was a fanatic. Which I am not, I am just more informed than some on both sides of the argument.

Illness

2009-03-02T17:00:00.000-08:00

Three weeks ago Kaia had an ear infection.

Two weeks ago Taiten got it from her.

Last week Kaia caught pneumonia.

Today Taiten has a virus and Kaia has whooping cough.

It's been busy and exhausting, mostly mentally on my part...

Random things

2009-02-24T09:12:00.001-08:00

Kaia's language ability is really exploding. She is nearing 2 years old so it's expected, but it's just so fun. One thing she does regularly is when I tell her to say thank you she says "welcome."

Right now Chris is um... wisely? allowing Kaia to play with a screw driver. Taiten just said, "Well, if she pokes out her eye we will have to stay away from her." I'm still laughing...

I'm doing well on the Candida Cleanse. I'm not sticking with the diet 100%, more like 70 or 80% but I know it's working. It's fun to try new things.

I just bought my last two tickets to Utah for my class, it's nice to have that out of the way, especially since money is starting to get tight.

I cut Kaia's hair, it's really short now, but it looks thicker and she no longer has a shag/ mullet cut.

This blog was written while listening to, what else? The Mamma Mia sound track... And the obsession continues...

Nutritional Blood Analysis

2009-02-21T09:35:00.000-08:00

NBA for short!

I had this done today. They took a drop of blood and let me watch my blood on a computer screen. It was so fun to see the red blood cells squish and move around. They slide around each other and change shapes while they do it.

I got to see a white blood cell eating something icky in my blood. I have fungus which is really gross. It's not yeast yet, but it's heading that way. I knew something was up, I thought maybe bacteria, but it' fungus. So I have to be on a sugar, wheat, yeast free diet. This includes almost all fruit. I also am doing a Candida cleanse with herbs, a tincture and probiotics.

I told the man doing the test that I had gone wheat free before and he told me that if I could go wheat free then I could do anything ;)

My diet now has to consist of (for 15 days) spelt, fish, chicken, eggs, vegetables, rice, lemons, limes, cranberries, sour apples, plain yogurt almonds, Ezekial bread, herbs... Stuff like that. No fruit, no sugar, no dairy, no wheat.

Anyway, they can check for so many things.
Irregular cells
Fat content of the blood
liver stress
yeast
fungus
bacteria
parasites
sugar crystals

uric acid: I had uric acid which means I need to eat more enzymes, raw foods or take probiotics. I got probiotics but am going to try for more raw foods too.

clumping red cells

the size of cells:some people have some that don't form large enough
oval shaped cells indicating hormonal imbalance
target cells indicating not enough iron

ghost cells: these are cool. I had a few, they indicate either poor nutrition or just the life cycle of a cell, cells on the way out. Normal cells are clearly outlined circles and ghost cells look like the ghost version of them. Since I only had a few they aren't the poor nutrition kind.

damaged cells: I had one, which means free radical damage, it was cool looking too. It was normal except one side looked like a bite had been taken out of it.

dehydration, kidney toxicity, low potassium, blood transfusion are all indicated by spikes on the cells.

liver, lung color toxicity

plaque broken off artery walls

So these are all the things you can see in one tiny drop of blood. And I only had a few of them! I'm doing well.

I highly recommend doing this if you can find one in your area, it was a fun experience.

Visiting

2009-02-13T16:47:00.000-08:00

I had a great visit with my Grandma, I got to see her three times and by the last time Taiten was ok with giving her a hug. My kids are both timid at times so this was a big step. It was nice for her to watch the kids play.

It was hard to see her like she was. She is still herself, but she's starting to leave a little bit. She's almost 85 and still walking though so she's still doing pretty good. I am so glad I had the chance to see her again.

I also had the chance to zone my aunt, she thought it was amazing and was so shocked by the stuff I could find in her foot. It was a great experience. I've only zoned a few family members because family is usually the last to decide to let you do things like that, so it was special for us to share that. She said it seems like zoning is completing me, that was cool.

Lots of travel starting today!

2009-02-04T08:47:00.000-08:00

Today I fly from Jacksonville, FL to Spokane. My parents are going to watch my kids while I go to class in Utah. Tomorrow I fly to Utah. Then back to Spokane where I'll stay for a while so I can visit my grandma who isn't doing that well. My grandma lives in Oregon so that will be an 8 hour drive, but well worth it. I'll be there a few days then back to Spokane for a few days before we all board the airplane again and head back to Georgia.

Lots of traveling! It will be crazy, and cold!!! But worth the trouble. So I may or may not be around here to keep up with all you wonderful people ;)